My Friend Tom

I got some really bad news yesterday, my dear best friend of 21 years, Tom passed away unexpectedly. Tom was a great person, loving friend and meant the world to me. He had been ill for several years with several different diseases, but was feeling good and doing great. They suspect a heart attach but they really don't know why he died, he was only 43 years old. I miss him so much already and just can't believe he is gone from my life.
I meant Tom my 1st year in college thur my roommate at the time. We became instant friends and friends for life. We lived together for 14 years, I have known him longer than I known my husband. We had good times and a lot of bad times but thur everything Tom was always there for me. No matter what happen or didn't happen if I needed to talk all I had to do was call him. I didn't talk to him for few years after I married and moved away with my husband. Which I regretted. But yet again when I needed someone, he came to my rescue. My husband as most know was in the military and 3 years ago he was shipped off to the desert. I had my 3 year old daughter to care for and I don't drive. I asked a few other people to come up and help me but no one could. So I asked my friend Tom and of course he came to help me out. He took 6 months out of his life to come to NJ and help me with my daughter and help get around to places that I need to go, mainly work. I don't think there wouldn't be anything he wouldn't do for me. I loved him dearly and only thing I wanted for him was for him to be happy. There wasn't anything I won't do for him. We had talked when I first found out that my husband was retiring from the military and we would be moving back home about getting a house big enough so he could come and live with us. But he wanted to go back to Utica ( he was living with his father in Brasher Falls, NY) and we wanted to go home to Fulton, NY (where most of our families live). He was planning on coming to visit. I surely miss him already. I was angry yesterday with him for leaving me. Other than Tom the only other person who I can tell my deepest darkest secrets too and to bitch too is my aunt, who I consider to be my mom (she has been my mom since my mom passed away when I was 14). I felt and still feel so alone right now. I do know that he is in a better place and he is with the two people he loved more in this world than me, his mom and his grandmother. He is no longer in any pain, but I still wish he hadn't left me. He always promised to be here for me, I know that is unrealistic expectation, but you never want the people who we love the most to leave us alone in this world. He will always live in my heart and be in my mind. The one thing great about Tom was, I also has the most beautiful Christmas tree around, he was great at decorating, the house was always decorated so nice. He even coordinated all the wall hangings. Who knows who I am going to get to do that now. LOL He was an awesome flower arranger, not sure what else to call him, he worked in a flower shop for years.
I just hope Tom knows how much I loved him, treasured him and worshiped his friendship. He will always be my true best friend. Tom, I love you dearly.